Robert B. Cialdini in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion makes the point that opportunities become more valuable when their availability is limited.

Perhaps this is one reason why many people feel compelled to answer a telephone call even if they are in the middle of a face to face conversation.

With each ring the availability of the opportunity decreases and a sense of urgency compels a response.

Incoming calls from cellular telephones seem to be even more prized as people will take these calls in trains, lifts, restaurants, football stadiums, spas, saunas, ski slopes and even restrooms.

The sense of being permanently on call can generate an undercurrent of stress and many find it too distressing to leave the phone in flight mode or to switch it off completely.

Voice Messaging can provide a technological respite from persistent phone calls and give you some respite from being a carer for the world.

Photo by rd76pag at Flickr

What is sexual stress?  What causes it?  How can it be alleviated?

Lovers Embrace - photo by LuMaxArt at Flickr

Why does a pleasurable activity like sex sometimes produce guilt, stress and remorse?

Popular culture would have us believe that sexual skills come perfectly packaged in our DNA and that all we need to do is to find a suitable partner and the keys to indescribable bliss are ours.

Strange how it doesn’t always work out like this.

Many people have to find their way groping in the dark … if you’ll forgive the pun.

Sexual stress occurs when there is a mismatch between expectations and outcomes.

The stressors can be psychological, physiological or a complex mix of  social and cultural factors.

True intimacy demands honesty. The first step in alleviating sexual stress is to make a courageous assessment of the issues that need to be addressed.

Sharing your concerns or anxieties with your partner may be a good place to begin.

Seeking the advice of a professional counsellor or physician may also be an appropriate action.

Or you may like to check out the self-help resources available at your local bookstore.

Ducking for cover or avoiding the issue could cost you dearly in terms of lost opportunities for discovering the immeasurable joys of true intimacy.

Delicious dark chocolate - Photo by Sir Twilight King at Flickr

Very few people on their deathbed wish they had eaten more celery but perhaps a few go to their graves wishing they had tucked into more chocolate.

Chocolate in excess can be stressful.

It can generate guilt, mucus, unwanted kilos and a mighty craving for more.

However taken in moderation it may be quite helpful.

One of the major ingredients in chocolate which is not widely advertised on the wrapper is cacao liquor polyphenol (CLP).

Research has confirmed that CLP is a powerful antioxidant that enhances the activity of the immune system.

Perhaps this is why the craving for chocolate increases during times of stress or depression.

Dark chocolate has four times the level of polyphenol antioxidants compared to kidney beans … probably explaining why restaurants serve chocolate with coffee rather than kidney beans!!

One of my readers pointed out to me that STRESSED spelt backwards reads DESSERTS.

A little chocolate from time to time is a good idea.

I’d be extremely surprised if your employment contract requires you to willingly submit to humiliation, bullying or vilification from your boss.

In many countries this behaviour is illegal.

Managers who use bully tactics reflect poorly on themselves and rarely achieve the motivational outcomes they expect  these tactics to produce.

Good leadership shows respect and receives it in return.

If you respond to bully-tactics with a positive response then you could be unwittingly fuelling the fire.

Be assertive and remind your manager that bully-tactics are completely unacceptable.

Don’t dignify or reinforce the behaviour with a positive response.

Bullies usually evaporate when their tactics are challenged.

On a positive note you can powerfully influence the behaviour of the boss by providing positive feedback for acceptable and supportive behaviour.

By doing this you will provide reward and reinforcement where it is due.

Most of us have experienced the anxiety and irritation of looking in the wardrobe and finding nothing that’s clean, ironed, fits or is otherwise acceptable to wear.

When this happens at the start of a working day it’s even more stressful and can impact on the rest of the day.

To take stress out of the closet, start by uncluttering your life of clothing you don’t use.

Freedom from closet stress is about streamlining rather than volume.  Make everything you own earn its hanging space.

Divide your wardrobe into 4 piles, Retain, Repair, Revamp or Retire — the 4 *R’s*.

1. Scrutinise what you can’t or don’t wear.  Ask yourself why.

2. Does it needs rehemming, buttons replaced or any kind of repair? Get it done.

3. If it doesn’t team with anything else, acquire the necessary items or donate the garment to charity.

4. Is it a hopeful/unrealistic size or an honest size?  If it’s the former, decide between the revamp and retire options.

5. Is it so worn or dated that you don’t wear it?  Whether you burn it or enshrine it, don’t let it share the same space as those clothes you do wear.

There’s a 5th *R*.  Count up how many complete outfits you have for work.  Make sure you’ve enough for 5 days of rain or travel.

If need be, Reinvest but NOT before deciding what to Retain, Repair Revamp or Retire.  Know which gaps you’re filling and why.

Enjoy the start of each day.

This Stress Tip was authored by Jean Woo an Corporate Image Consultant.